Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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