There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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