She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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