The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
