Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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