Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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