So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
