I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
