I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
