guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
