Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
