why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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