he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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