Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
