i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
