And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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