she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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