areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
