You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
