Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
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