Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
