I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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