why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
