I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
