So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
YAS. BRING CRAB.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
