If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
