ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
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