U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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