they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
