this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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