God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
