i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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