come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
