It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
