He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
