So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
