easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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