what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
