My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
