I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
it's like iHOP with fire
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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