So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
