Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
