Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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