i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
