TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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