New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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