I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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