It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
