haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Randomize
