One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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