So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
