Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
