just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
