Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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