i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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