WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
you never un-have a 4some
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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