she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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